Choose Your Roles

We all have roles in life- child, parent, partner, spouse or friend. Some roles we take on, others are assigned. You get to choose which ones you fill and how you play each role.

As parties, dinners and gatherings are planned, think about the role you play at each. If you feel someone putting you in a role you no longer want to fill, it is an invitation to make a shift. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Change can take practice.

Take a moment to consider the following. How would you complete each statement?

I am…….

I am happy to be…..

I would rather not be…..

I want to be…..

I will be….

I am….

Receiving

How do you feel when you are given a compliment? What is your usual response? Does the attention make you squirm?

Compliments are gifts. Tolerate the discomfort and open to receive. You are worth that and so much more.

“Thank you” is the appropriate response to a compliment. You are deserving. Most of us only receive a tiny fraction of the amount of praise we deserve. So much of what we do goes unnoticed. When someone does notice and comment, take it in.

Repeat after me, “Thank you.”

You can practice by giving yourself the credit you are due. Say, “Thank you!”

The holidays mean more socializing, more visibility and more opportunity to practice receiving any and all gifts that come your way.

You’re welcome!

Appreciation

Life is full of wonder and beauty. Taking time to experience what is present in the moment makes life juicy. Small details, noticed and gathered create a full and varied collection of experiences, forming a very rich life.

Do you tell yourself that you do not have the time to enjoy the moment? Really?

What can you notice, right now, something to admire, appreciate or just see in a different way?

What if you made a point of using your waiting moments, at traffic lights, in lines, when you are on hold, to practice appreciation?

You choose how you fill your time. You can check your texts or notice the sky’s exact shade of blue.

Choose to smell the coffee or the morning air, feel your heart beating, and hang onto the wisps of your dreams.

Trust Your Gut

Follow your instincts. How many times have you regretted not listening to that inner voice?

Your intuition is the most powerful tool in your spiritual toolbox. Learn to develop and trust it.

There are many ways to strengthen your intuition. You will sense which ways will be most helpful. Muscle testing, visualization, use of a tool like a pendulum or cards all work. There are dozens of YouTube videos demonstrating different methods.

You really don’t need a physical tool to ‘tune in.’ You have already experienced having ‘gut feelings’ or hearing that ‘little voice.’ It may be as simple as tuning into what is already there and trusting that feeling, message or voice.

Think of all the times when you just ‘knew’.

What was it about those times that was different?

Are you ready to turn up your intuition volume?

Have fun!

Keeping It In Check

Know the difference between having thoughts and taking action.

Know the risk you take in sharing all those socially unacceptable, immoral and potentially illegal if acted upon fantasies with others.

Having a fantasy about anything is fine. It can be quite pleasurable to IMAGINE setting a bad guy aflame. Perhaps envision your nemesis as the Wicked Witch ‘Melting…..Melting…..’ Heh, heh, heh.

Go ahead. Think of all the things that COULD happen. Have an answer ready when those near you ask why you are laughing maniacally. Enjoy!

Dream Big, Baby

Your dreams are yours. Every other person on the face of the earth may call them stupid, impossible, or ridiculous. If it is your dream, hold it close and watch it grow (probably not the best choice of words for this photo…)

I don’t want your dreams. I may not even want to know about your dreams. I have my own, thank you very much.

Share your dreams as you would a delicate and precious treasure. You know who will support you and nurture the growth of your vision. You also know who will take any opportunity to squash your hopes and discourage you from being the brilliant light you are.

Some people in our lives are threatened by movement, change and anything they deem threatening. Who has the power? YOU. You decide to stay small or take chances and shine.

No dream is too big. List them all. Write them down to put them into a physical form.

Now, read each dream, goal or hope you listed. Feel it, see it, smell it. Really feel how life is living that dream. You are programming yourself to your future. Have fun birthing your future!

Can’t Live With Them……

Anyone else having pre-holiday angst over who you will see or not see and who will say what and to whom? Oy! Family!

Like it or not, family of origin is a fact. The good news is that you can choose if and how you continue to relate to them.

People come into and leave our lives. Nothing is forever even though it can feel like forever. All relationships end. People leave, people die.

But, you can choose the terms of how relationships end. Remember, that refers to YOU. You have no control over the words or actions of others. You have total control over how you react, your choices, words and actions.

The good news is that we get to construct our true family, our families of choice.

It’s Your Problem, Hon

When one is maligned or labeled, it says more about the one passing judgment than the one being judged.

Know what is yours to own and what does not belong to you. If it’s not yours, stay strong and do not take it on. Let it pass you by and keep going.

Names/labels I have been called……

Names/labels I have called myself…..

What is true……

Be Careful What You Wish For

There are things we want because we think we should want them. There are things we want because someone has told us it would be best.

Be honest. Do you want it, really want it or are you following the path most traveled?

One man’s meat is another man’s poison. What is perfect for me could drive you to an asylum or long to be in a coma.

The illusion that the unchosen other is better is just that- an illusion.

Are there things that in retrospect you are very glad did not happen?

How many ‘bullets’ have you dodged?

I don’t know about you but my list is more than I can count on my fingers and toes.

Friends meds

Be Generous

I know that at this time of year, hearing ‘be generous’ can cause stress and panic and fear of the credit card bill arriving.

Generosity has nothing to do with consumerism, overspending or trying to people please.

Be generous of spirit. It costs you nothing to be kind. Be as generous as you can with your time and talents.

You have no idea how you impact someone with a compliment or pleasant observation. It usually goes unseen, but there is always a ripple effect.

How do you choose to react to a grumpy person? You have a choice- be grumpy right back or be understanding and make allowances. You choose the tone.

Remember the instances of a kind word from a stranger making a real difference to you.

Your words have power.