Monthly Archives: April 2015

Trauma in Seattle

 It’s been over 24 hours. I can write about it now.

My ride was delayed and I waited in the Seattle airport for about ninety minutes. It was a direct, long flight and my back hurt so I found a waiting area and camped out. Others came and went from the area then a young woman sat, checking her phone, waiting. When her partner/friend/husband joined her they left.

BUT before they went on their way, he bent over to pick up her bag. Directly in front of my face the moon was out early. His sweatshirt rode up and his pants were very low on his hips exposing at least five inches of butt crack. Very hairy butt crack. Supremely hairy butt crack. Incredibly hairy butt crack.

I guess I have lived a very sheltered life, but I swear I had no idea hair could grow out of a butt crack like that. It was dark. It was long. It was thick. It was shocking.

What happened next was even more disturbing. When he stood upright, he did not pull up his pants but tugged on a side belt loop to LOWER that side a bit. At least the sweatshirt returned to meet the top of his low-riders.

Not pulling your pants up? WTF? Is this a thing? I have only seen low-riders with huge boxer shorts billowing out the top and I thought that look is passe. Maybe commando low-riders is the new thing but really, shouldn’t you have the butt to pull off such a look?

If the hair stuck straight out, like porcupine quills, one could understand the inability to pull up one’s pants. It would be a kind of disability. If the couple had been robbed and his belt was stolen, he would have tried to pull the pants up, not level the waistband by lowering one side.

Waistband. Hmmmm. Maybe those are pants with new mid-ass bands. They were not hip-huggers. I remember those. There was a good amount of sagging jeans meant to be covering ass, unfilled and floppy below his ass.

It’s not like I have never seen butt crack before. I’ve seen plenty. There is ass hanging out here and there. I guess it is one of those things I have come to accept as a fact of life. Sometimes you see road kill, sometimes some cheeks.

My shock would have been the same, I think, if I were to see a road-kill unicorn. Maybe that guy has the rarest of butt cracks. Is it possible that I saw the ass crack equivalent of a unicorn? Perhaps his sharing a sighting here and there is his way of giving a rare gift.

Maybe, one day the memory will blur. I can only hope.